Genesis 24: How to Find a Godly Spouse

*These notes come from Bob Deffinbaugh’s study on Genesis 24 at
  • A godly mate should be sought only when it is certain marriage will achieve the purpose God has for our lives
    • Isaac needed a wife to fulfill his part in the Abrahamic Covenant. While it is the norm for us to marry, it is sometimes God’s purpose to keep his servants single. Marriage should only be sought for those who will achieve God’s purpose by having a mate and, perhaps, a family
  • If we would have a godly mate, we must wait for God’s time
    • Isaac was 40 when he married. He didn’t marry for fear time was passing him or because anyone was better than no-one
  • If we would have a godly mate, we must look in the right place
    • Look where Christians might be. If God does not provide one in this way, He can certainly do so in His own sovereign way. Servant did not hold a marriage contest, but rather prayed that God lead the right woman to him in the right place
  • If you would have a godly mate, you must seek godly qualities
    • Not evaluated on beauty, but rather manifesting christian character. Being a believer in God is not enough for a successful marriage. Just because one is Christian does not make them (alone) a good candidate for marriage. The manifestation of Christian character is necessary.
  • He who would find a godly mate should be willing to heed the counsel of older and wiser Christians
    • Isaac may have never found Rebekah on his own. Not only was his family part of the process, but Rebekah’s family also had to be convinced of God’s leading
  • He who would have a godly mate must be willing to put emotional feelings last
    • Love came last, not first in this chapter. Love came after marriage. Romantic love is never the basis for marriage – marriage is the basis for romantic love. This is why a Christian should not date an unbeliever. Do not put yourself in a situation where romantic love can grow unless you are sure you want it to
  • Conclusion: God has a special person chosen as a mate for those for whom He has purposed marriage. God will surely guide us to that mate by using scripture, prayer, counsel, wisdom, and providential intervention. We will be able to recognize this person, convinced most of all by the fact that they have manifested a godly character. May God help us to obey Him in the selection of a mate, and to be the godly mate His word says we should be.


*Link to study on the rest of the chapters in Genesis


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